BEHIND THE GATE
The monastery gate affected rust, but this was an optical illusion. By exposing coat after coat of red-dirt primer, the resulting bumps and crevices simulated aging. This had the advantage of keeping people away, the grubby grounds uninviting.
Mike the UPS driver tapped one foot until finally a young monk cheerfully swung open the right panel of the gate. Mike carried a shoebox sized package wrapped in brown paper.
Young Monk: I’ll take that. [He holds both hands out, palms up and slightly cupped as if it to receive it in sacrament.]
Mike: Can’t. Instructions are it has to be hand-delivered to some guy named Dogen.
Young Monk: I’m new here. I don’t know any Dogen. Let me find someone who does. Wait here.
* * *
Tenzo: You have a package for Dogen?
Mike: Yes.
Tenzo: I’ll take it. It’s probably his favorite dried apricots. He says the fresh ones are too sweet. They need air to ripen.
Mike: Like I told the other guy, my instructions are to hand-deliver it to this Dogen guy.
Tenzo: Hmmm. Dogen can be hard to find. He’s slippery that way. Let me get someone who can help you.
* * *
Treasurer: You have a package for Dogen?
Mike: Yes.
Treasurer: I’m the treasurer around here. It’s probably a donation of gold coins. We could use it.
Mike: Look, I already told your two buddies that my instructions are to hand-deliver it to Dogen.
Treasurer: But I’m the treasurer.
Mike: I don’t care if you’re the Emperor of the North Pole. This is for Dogen and Dogen alone.
Treasurer: Hmmm. Dogen can be hard to find. You can’t ask for him so much. He just tends to show up when you need him, like money. Let me get
someone who can help you.
* * *
Chief Monk: You have a package for Dogen?
Mike: Yes.
Chief Monk: I’m the chief monk around here. It’s probably the vase he smashed and sent out for repair. He’ll be so happy when I return it to him. Here, I’ll take it.
Mike: Oh Jesus, for the last time. My instructions are to hand-deliver it to Dogen. Why don’t you let me in and I’ll help you go find him? We’ll have two sets of eyes, your chief monk eyes and my delivery guy eyes.
Chief Monk: Oh, that’s a good idea. We like visitors. Some even stay. Please, come in.
Mike: Thanks. So what does this Dogen guy look like?
Chief Monk: Let’s see. Not sure anyone’s ever asked me that before. He’s bald, medium height, wears red robes and sandals.
Mike: Buddy, that describes just about everyone around here.
Chief Monk: Oh, he’d love to hear you say that.
* * *
Chief Monk: You seem tired. I’m sorry we haven’t found him. We’ve been everywhere on the grounds except the latrine. We can’t go in there, but I assure you he never dawdles. Would you like some water?
Mike: Yeah, thanks, buddy. This place is sure clean.
Chief Monk: We like it that way.
Mike: What way?
Chief Monk: Clean.
Mike: Yeah, I can see that’s your way.
* * *
Dogen: I hear you’re looking for me.
Mike: You Dogen?
Dogen: That’s my name.
Mike: Here. This package is yours.
Dogen: From over the mountains? Across the sea? Oh, I can’t take that. It’s not for me.
Mike: —
Dogen: It’s for my grandson here.
Mike: You want me to give that four-year-old this package?
Dogen: If you would please.
Mike: I guess that’s OK. Hey, kid.
Dogen: Here's help for that wrapping paper, Little Dogen.
Little Dogen: Oh, wow! Legos!